How may I assist you today?
Press one to stab me in the back,
Hang my head like a trophy
Up on your hunters rack

Press two to put me in personal hell
Go for all my friends but me
And somehow manage to
keep me under your spell

Press three just for fun
Say you're there for me then run.
pressing four is a doozy
break my heart while I'm woozy.

Press five if you're late
to simply make my heart ache
press six for the best
Ditch me for the rest.

Press seven for more options
Like you haven't enough already
Just don't forget I'm on the line, keeping count
And so far, your tally's going steady.