she kept asking me why im always writing and why i love road trips so much why i cant stay in one place for more than a year without feeling the sting of boredom crawling its way into my skin so i told her
its just that there is no other way for me to live my life not when i know that the whole world is staring me back in the face patiently waiting getting ready for me to absorb all that its trying to gift all of these people that we coexist with, yet have never met they are out LIVING THEIR OWN LIVES EXPERIENCING THEIR OWN EMOTIONS LOVING THEIR OWN PEOPLE and we have no idea of each other's existence
the only way i know how to live my life is to tackle it head on
i used to sit on my bed in my room and stare at my computer screen any tv show i could find i would watch for d.a.y.s. on end
but one day i woke up and i realized that that wasnt really living my life i was taking a break escaping into another reality that was simpler than my own one where i didnt exist, but i wasnt quite dead either
but i knew that wasnt my idea of living
my idea of living was experiencing the wholeness around you all of the agony and torture all of the jealousy and mistrust all of the infatuation and true love all of the ease and satisfaction
it was all just one long adventure and the only way for me to enjoy it was to let it engulf me and glide along for the ride
- a quick jot of my train of thought for the past few days