I can sense internal struggle, I feel the fire within, which sometimes burns. This flame is used erratically due to the constant clash of polar opposites. Love and hate, fear and bravery. Loyalty and betrayal. An interesting component of vulnerability is the inevitable onset of calamity. It is an undesirable outcome, disappointment for me has meant a great deal throughout my life. It seems to always scar my body and my mind. I wish you could phantom the feeling of being loved and rejected. A distinctive and profound feeling, a desire to run away and then run very back to the origin. The tree has been planted with roots of positive seeds. However sometimes these seeds rot before they enter the soil. The richness of the soil has essential nutrients which generate a cycle of growth and longevity. I have found that the soil is comprised of an array of elements: love, empathy, patience, trust, understanding and an innate connection.

In my experience, I do know love is never the sole ingredient. I have uncovered this truth the hard way. When I look at you I sense violence, a lion who is waiting to conquer the world. I’ve always expressed to you it is important to be one with yourself. The potency of searching for external factors leads to an undesired life. As human beings, we are geared towards survival. Our minds are primed on our environment and thoughts quickly emerge. The emergence is a display of the surroundings which sometimes are not conducive to who we aspire to be. If you’re not extremely self-aware, this can be a catastrophic never-ending series of dead-ends. I do not expect you to understand me, I don’t expect anything. I drop all expectations as I have learned that the ones I love the most might not last. A limited lifespan, initially this was a very difficult truth. I did not want to live this way, in a state of paranoia not knowing if the future would bring the grim-reaper. There is an eerie feeling I currently feel about you. Not sure if I fully understand it. To be continued...