I dared to tread upon the fresh snow,
to imprint my stain upon its calm.
i dared to make my mark upon it,
and i ruined the beauty that was created.

with much toil the blanket had been lain,
to cover carefully the raggedness below.
the broken flowers my hands had torn,
the blackened earth i left behind.

i made myself open to you,
somehow,
my dreams were different than this.
it was supposed to be easy.

why is it,
that i choose my demise without care?

what does friend mean?
what does it mean that you care?

a plethora of scenarios meet my heart.
in none of them i show.

so is this it?
friends.

i will spend time mopping up the spill of my tears.
another door slammed in my face.