The one man that I love the most
Has hurt me in a way I didn't know
He possibly could.

I don't understand why he would
He was the one that rescued me
He made me believe again
I had hope because of him
He helped me over my fears
Made me believe I could in fact
Trust men again.

He was a giant he was big and strong
But he was as soft and gentle as a teddy bear
He was raised to be a gentleman
I want to blame it on the heat of the moment
Maybe that all that it was or maybe it's a whole
Lot more.

Two days before we tried something new
He was gentle and coaxing,
I enjoyed it, it was fun
He new what my past was like
Behind locked doors at night
Ware screams could be muffled by pillows
And pain could be sealed with medication.
But today when he didn't stop,
And his teddy bear side disappeared
And his strength really showed
As he pinned me to the bed
And fed me false lines to coax me into
Letting him to continue.

Only when I burst out crying
And parents footsteps flying
Did he realize what he had done
He hurt me in a way I never new manageable
He mentally and physically scared me.

I want to believe that it was just the heat
Of the moment that got in his head
That he wasn't really a bad person
This whole time.
That will shatter me much worse
Then this does now.  And because
I cant accept that I still love him,
But I don't know how much longer
I can.