There was a time in my life
where i loved God so much
that i prayed desperatley
in the night
The moon washing
over me softly like silk
with tiny hands clasped together
i prayed for things to get better

Along with yellow stained walls
and a clatter of beer cans
off into the distant
I prayed

I thanked god
For giving me my mom
and grandmother
I thanked god for the food
That mom prepared for us
I thanked him for the roof
over my head
and for the waves of happiness
that the church brought to me
I prayed for my dad
I wanted him to care

The day i started to lose faith was like
the breaking of glass
I stood before a deacon
soaked from the rain
curls dripping down
my worn young face

I begged to be blessed again
I needed that feeling one last time
The overwhelming feeling of sunshine
warmth, and honey
I needed to feel God’s hand in
my life

To know he still existed
That he didn’t leave me alone
with my alcoholic dad
and shattered mom

That he was there ready
to give me strength

Days passed
weeks grew into months
and i was forgotten by the church

I began highschool
With empty hope that soon
withered away like an unwatered
flower