I see your picture
Pop up on my dash
Oh, I guess we're still friends
At least in Cyberspace
We are…

Anyway, I see your stupid
******* picture
Unkempt beard
Slimy trout in one hand
Beer in the other

And it makes me absolutely sick
Bile swirls around in my stomach
Like blood down the drain
Of those Hitchcock films we'd watch
'Til dawn
At the foot of your bed
Wrapped in a deep sea of sheets

You're wearing that necklace
I bought you in Maui
Little rocks strung together
Black and white
I was half way across the globe
And you were still the only thing
On my ****** up mind

I wonder if you think of me
Every ******* time you take it off
To shower
I wonder if those ****** you ****
Twist the stones around
And inquire their origin


And, most of all,
I wonder what you tell them.



I walk down your street
Because I still have the same friends
As you
And we all grew up together
In this black hole we've been taught to call
Our hometown
We rode the same bus,
Smoked the same pipes,
Blew the same lines,
I guess, in a way, we were family.

Anyway, I walk down your stupid
****** up street
And I saunter past your aluminum framed
*******
That you still bother to call
Your car

And the only thing that runs through my mind
Are all those nights we spent together
In your driveway
Talking about absolutely nothing
Meaningless *******
And at the time, it all seemed so ridiculously
Pointless
But now…

Those memories are what I cherish
More than anything.

Your car is rotting away
No brakes, no engine
The windows don't even shut
And it takes every ounce of willpower
I have left
Not to key the **** out of your Jetta
Inscribe it with your true title
*******

I wonder if you'd know it was me
I wonder what people would ask you


And, most of all,
I wonder what you'd tell them.




I gaze out my window
For the billionth time
Sighing at your silhouette
In my decaying yard

Roses in hand, you patiently wait
For the only girl you've ever broken
To come downstairs
You scream out my name
Throw rocks at my window
Like we're
Sixteen again

I don't recall
How many steps I raced down
I don't recall
If I bothered to lock the door behind me
I don't recall
Much of anything

*******
Is all I can say
*******
Is all I can think
*******
Runs through my blood
My brain
My heart
*******
*******
*******.

And before I know it
My fists are at your throat
My nails are at your skin
My knuckles are at your jaw
I thrash
Eyes shut
Nothing but eternal darkness
And violence

I'm screaming
I can't stop
You're on the ground
Thorns at your side
Tears in your ducts

*******

I kick your skeleton
Smothered in skin

******* for shooting up
******* for destroying me
*******

I study the needle
And the damage done
Your gushing blood
Starlit crimson

For the first time,
I see your wounds

I wonder how it feels
For you to be the victim
I wonder what your ******
Your sister
Your mother
Will say

And, most of all,
I wonder what you'll tell them.