Dear fellow slug victim, I am sorry.
I have lost at this game and now so have you!
Losing is not as bad as it could seem.
What is new, you let down your team.
I knew you lost because of where you were stuck.
The opposing team pulls in all the good ones.
They have a way of suckling your brains
and taking  you to the dark side
you lost
and now your mission is to **** everyone.
Everyone who is around you needs to lose this game, too.
Can you handle this task?
I hope you can, too.