There was a flash of red and glowing brown
Weaved within the depths of my suppressed trauma memory.
It only left a soft kiss on my lips
And gentle hands on my hips.
A sting of sorrow and understanding on my cheek
And the gift of immesurable loss.

We only learn our strength at the face of oppression and indeed suppression.
Leaving a trace of anger and betrayal
I was also left with a seemingly infinite smoke veil
Unable to find its rootcause, I howled my frustration as a projection on others.

How can you miss something that doesn't exist?
The lack of a face, a voice and scent
Made the pain nothing less than real.
And perhaps I made you up
But then how does believing it give me more peace
Than challenging myself?
The real tranquility such as having finished a million piece puzzle.
And tears of loss falling on to my clenched fists.

Maybe that's just it
The Year Of the Dragon is believed
To be unlucky for the Zodiac Sign that owns the name
Such as myself, Earth Dragon.
But if it is all true after all,
Then I do not regret having left my footsteps between us
As I've come to see how blessed I was indeed
To have had my years of peace and loss.
Perhaps you live in my imagination
But maybe you live in my memory.