May 2017
It’s not the relationship that you’re holding on to.
Nor is it the person
lying on the other side of the bed,
across an unreachable chasm
breathing softly in the night
He is merely a part of the illusion
that you so intricately carved
and then pinned on this
unwitting soul saddled with your expectations
made him your atlas, weighed down by
your insecurities, unexamined truths that
rather than explore, you’d hoped he'd vanquish
And when he could not slay the invisible
dragons (for he is fighting with his own)
you began to hate him almost as much
as you do yourself
and yes I know, while wine nearly dulls the senses
enough to not hate being taken from behind on occasion,
it only leaves you with muffled tears once the flush
of lust has passed.
No my love it’s not.
It’s not the relationship that you’re holding on to.
You never even liked his laugh,
but he was enough to momentarily
quiet the insecurities that torment you
on your mind’s playground
that tell you that you’re not worth loving,
how no one wants a girl with scars or
stds or two young kids
It’s not his fault nor is it yours,
release him of your shackling hopes
and don’t waste time with anger for him
not being what he never was.
Then start down a path cut by love’s
sharp edge, through the thick overgrowth of fear
rather than the other way around
And on your own, you will discover
that beauty is but the reflection of the
light that you already possess, that the playground bullies lie and that you're so deserving of your own love
and understand the lover that you want isn’t the one that is seeking the insecure, for insecure only seeks the same
I know my love.
I know that you’re afraid to loosen your grip.
But I promise you this much is true,
if you let this go and instead use your hands
to reach inside, to find out who you really are,
the light that shines from your eyes
will light the world, and as an incidental
artifact, attract a lover matched in full
It’s not the relationship that you’re holding on to.
And the time has come my love,
to just let go.
Nor is it the person
lying on the other side of the bed,
across an unreachable chasm
breathing softly in the night
He is merely a part of the illusion
that you so intricately carved
and then pinned on this
unwitting soul saddled with your expectations
made him your atlas, weighed down by
your insecurities, unexamined truths that
rather than explore, you’d hoped he'd vanquish
And when he could not slay the invisible
dragons (for he is fighting with his own)
you began to hate him almost as much
as you do yourself
and yes I know, while wine nearly dulls the senses
enough to not hate being taken from behind on occasion,
it only leaves you with muffled tears once the flush
of lust has passed.
No my love it’s not.
It’s not the relationship that you’re holding on to.
You never even liked his laugh,
but he was enough to momentarily
quiet the insecurities that torment you
on your mind’s playground
that tell you that you’re not worth loving,
how no one wants a girl with scars or
stds or two young kids
It’s not his fault nor is it yours,
release him of your shackling hopes
and don’t waste time with anger for him
not being what he never was.
Then start down a path cut by love’s
sharp edge, through the thick overgrowth of fear
rather than the other way around
And on your own, you will discover
that beauty is but the reflection of the
light that you already possess, that the playground bullies lie and that you're so deserving of your own love
and understand the lover that you want isn’t the one that is seeking the insecure, for insecure only seeks the same
I know my love.
I know that you’re afraid to loosen your grip.
But I promise you this much is true,
if you let this go and instead use your hands
to reach inside, to find out who you really are,
the light that shines from your eyes
will light the world, and as an incidental
artifact, attract a lover matched in full
It’s not the relationship that you’re holding on to.
And the time has come my love,
to just let go.
