I guess I just have to admit
That it was all too hard
Too unpleasant
And when I look around me
At the happy couples
I see a thing I've never had
Never personally witnessed.

A real ease.
Getting along without need
A coexistence
Without constant reassurance
An exploration
Of mutual profoundness
The ability to take up space
In your own separate ways
While still being
Each other's best dance partner.

When will I truly enjoy
The way someone dances with me?

What's that like?
I'm not sure
And I think it's because for eons
I strived so hard
To find it.

I don't know
I'm not sure
But I don't think my family has it
And I think I've convinced myself I had it
A plethora of times
And now all there is left to do
Is thrive, exist
And let go.