My pal Pete had this cousin
Who was always known as ****
He had earned this name at school
Because he was always prodding his friends
For the answers to teacher's questions

Now **** was a likeable and friendly guy
But, alas, the police knew him well
He had a penchant for breaking and entry
Not peoples homes, thankfully
His thing was robbing garages
Tires, spares, cash or anything else
Whenever a garage was *******
**** was the first port of call

Anyway, on this day I'm thinking of
Pete and me were chatting to ****
Just casually shooting the breeze
As you do on a sunny Saturday
And a cop car crawled past us
A passer-by spoke up cheerfully
"Eyup, ****! Yer cab's here!"

                                          By Phil Roberts