I lost power when the storm hit
At first the rain was just a
Veiled rejection - not this time - so
I rallied and asked for
A different kind of more
Anyway, with nothing to lose;
They only said maybe and the full brunt
Of the sucker punch
Doubled me over as I hung up the phone.
They might give me nothing, in the end.
My work, my worth, my capital -
Creates more excuses than rewards.
And as for my love, my ***, my energy -
The capital of my soul?
You betrayed it when you let slip that
My story was mere noise to you
The intricate details of my path, my thoughts -
The actors I have described, even the ludicrous stage they play on
Just a wailing siren you tune out until it fades away
And you can hand me one of the generic pacifiers
You keep on hand for me
But I'd rather choke today

And so I sit with my value
My capital brims over, pours into the gutter
Until I turn it off, switch on autopilot instead
Do they not know I'm only half alive?
Do you not know all this passion is for you?
Not that it matters, or that they would care
And since you don't need me either,
I sit
And I stare