have you ever felt
the exhaustion?
it's not just physical; it's
mental, emotional, draining
in all the ways you could think of.
it runs in your blood and
seeps into your bones
and you sit there wondering when
it'll all be over.

have you ever felt
the heartache?
it numbs you, chokes you, and
makes you feel like your heart
is a little shriveled up raisin
because you can't imagining it opening
up to anyone else ever again.
it hurts in the worst ways;
a hollow ache that never subsides.

have you ever seen
me cry?
it's not the kind of quiet tears you
see in movies.
it's the heart-wrenching sobs;
screams of pain, loss and apprehension.
it isn't beautiful, there's nothing
poetic about it. it's raw, malignant
grief.

have you ever known me?
or were you just a figment
of my imagination,
too many lines between what i
know and and what i used
to love.