cold gusts of wind blow in the warm room,
grabs hold of my ankles like delicate cool feathered hands.
anything but freshly fallen from the warmth of safety,
cool as if plucked from rotting stagnant poultry.

when did the cold make me fell more safe and secure,
when did the cold fell like a presence,
a presence that is always there for me,
comforting me while my thought eat me alive at night.

but also feel as though it where grabbing hold of me,
dragging me to a deeper, darker place
while i lay there motionless,
paralyzed by my thoughts,
the energy to move escapes me,
and is effortlessly deemed irrelevant  
yet here i am,
completely aware of me slipping away
not caring at all
for how fast i fall.

thoughts of
have i ever been this low
how much deeper can i go
does it get darker,
colder,
lonelier.

will this dark cool night ever be warm.