The vest grows heavy on my shoulders
Fuse in one hand
Match in the other
Fingertips practically itching to act.

Why is it so hard to self destruct?
I've got all the required materials right here
Why can't I be just like them
Loose with words and actions
Spreading myself like cloudcover?

They've got me thinking
Maybe if I could just explode
Pulverize myself into tiny bits
In that brief moment
Of becoming nothing from something
I'll forget your scent
Your eyes and your voice
That for a heartbeat, if only just one
Your name won't be pulsing through my veins

Even if it was the last thing on my lips.