I've had my fair share of sleepless nights
Those nights are the nights that I lie awake thinking
(Which I must say is quite dangerous for me )
I roll around in my bed
Trying to figure out my purpose
My mind always brings be back to the same question
Does my life really have meaning?
I preach to my friends that everyone's life has meaning
But I feel like I'm a different case
All the religion ******* aside
Does it really?
In this world the bigger, badder, richer, or better looking always prevail..
So what's to become of the small, weak, middle class, and mediocre?
****
I feel myself getting caught up again
Getting caught up in the web of depression and anger that I keep weaving for myself
I'm a spider that gets caught in her own web
I'm desperately trying to escape
But these ******* webs just aren't giving
I liken my feelings to mosquito repellent
My feelings keep everyone at bay
They make me inaccessible
Inaccessible is pretty great for a ******* like me
I derive a certain kind of dark pleasure from being able to say that I have no friends
It's easier to pity myself that way
Then you came along and ****** my world up
Turned it upside down
And just as suddenly as you entered my life you left
It's as if my world is suspended in mid air
I know that I'm about to fall
And it's happening slow enough that I can see it
But there is absolutely no way for me to stop it
And maybe I don't want to stop it ******* it
I want that pain
I need it
To pull me back to ******* reality
Because life isn't a fairytale
Disney has distorted our views of romance
Romance is dead
Love is a myth
Stop living in your Harlequin novels
And get back to the real world
Life has no meaning
And I have no purpose
I was only born to die