You could look through church windows and never find what you'd see through the stained glass of her eyes. she didn't believe in God, but she swears heaven was always, 'just one more step' away.

She spent her days trying to discover herself, and her nights trying to destroy all that she learned; the bible doesn't have a chapter about figuring out where you truly belong.

She could never understand the act of willingly falling to ones knees -to them it was a moment of respect and hope; for her it was nothing more than defeat. Clasped hands and bowed head; others wishing for good fortune, she, questioning her life.

Surrounded by people who don't say anything but what they have learned; her mind the child who hasn't learned church etiquette; screaming, crying, lost, but also, pure, accepted, and unrestrained.

She was never religious, but God, she was the kind of girl everyone prayed they'd never lose. And fell, unwillingly, to their knees for when she walked away.

NJ2016