Its a Friday night
And I chose to come relish in my last moments
In this little but yet so big
Room thats fully taken on so much.

I think back on it now
With that sweet nostalgia
I get so deeply caught up in
With earnest masochism
And the innate desire
To keep kicking up my heels
And get my **** together
I seem to echo in tandem
With those that pick and seek
Simplistic but belting desires
From me
And really, the not so little
Or big
I have to give.

This time last year
A great betrayal occurred
I'll never forget my hysteria over the phone
That was not my own
I called you in such a panic
My darling, I didn't mean for that to happen
Pacing in West Avondale
I had to go be on set in a matter of minutes
And I wept, for fear I had ruined
What I thought might be us.

And I find myself standing now
In little bo-peep pink with a glass of white wine in my hand
My soon to not be room mate seems disheartened
That everyone already knows me
And we jest but really we mean it and say
He's clearly
Just so gay.

I had a little tick in the pit of my stomach
Papa and I got so sweaty in the hot sun
A new bright, brave, strong man
Wraps his arm around me amid what we think to be
Honeysuckles and he teaches me a thing or two
About what I know
But he brings a new sense of wisdom
And I cutely tell him
I like your brain.

I decided to stay away tonight
After much debate
Its my last moments here after all
4 different parties to attend
I say no thank you to them all
Tonight
Burn some sage
Make sure I'm ready
But you're never fully ready

But I stare out my new windows
Am greeted in the elevator
Buy some cute bar stools
Mama told me to walk away
And never look back.

I paced in a long blue dress
The night before
Black
Felt so alive to be everyone's ***** on a film set
And now its me who gives the orders.