when was the last time i woke up and didn't feel as if the day was already over?  i know the sun is out but it might as well be the moon.  both are the brightest when i'm trying to fall asleep.  and when was the last time i cut myself and didn't question if it would really stick this time?  sometimes the blades don't hurt as much as they should. they never scar dark enough to remind me later. and when was the last time that i looked up and didn't wish it was the floor beneath me?  i've always wanted something dense enough to fall through.  i'm so sick of standing.