i'm living between breaths
and resting between heartbeats
and the rest of the time
i'm nothing at all
and how sick is it
that i look forward to the nights
when i know i'm gonna make myself cry
because even that is better
than feeling nothing at all
self induced breakdowns
because the alternative
isn't living
isn't dying
isn't anything at all
and i'm scratching at my scalp
trying so hard
to ease the crawling sensation
there are things under my skin
but i can never get to them
and it's like ice is in my veins
they way i feel numb all the time
i'm never quite sure this is even real
lapsing in and out of third person
and trying to remember my lines
this movie *****
where's the remote
i'd like to change the channel