Moon and night sky wears on
Thinkin' about what drew me in
Like a lasso around shooting stars
Red flags surrounding me like nails in the earth
Cracks I avoid with my feet
I remember when I was a little girl
And we would all hiss and chime
"Step on a crack, break the devil's back!"

I wonder whats underneath all the mulch, the worms
I use to imagine Satan as a little red tainted fire faceless droid
Never ever fully seeing his face
But watching his back breathe and pound heavy from behind
As he looked down and around
At his fiery pit.

There was a time
Where I would look out my window
A drunken night or two
Or find you through the maze of my back porch
Bring you inside, it was so worth it I thought
So little sleep, so little sleep
But you showed me in the end
How very little, you fully loved
And respected me
Perhaps there are those that don't like how I went
Or bebopped away, you could say
But I had to go my own way.

I stay true to that
Relieved that if you uttered a sound, I would not know
6 months. Stay true, I coach myself through.

A handsome rebound, eye candy filled distraction
Stepping stone from home base where I thought I could be safe
But you're in love with a woman in Germany.

You texted me today, you had more to say
Spilled your guts a lil bit, I've said so little
I know that if I gave you the okay
You would be over here and on top of me
Right this moment.


But why bother. Why waste time
I think back on listening to the podcast
Where Peter Pan worshipped the bodies of women
And had nothing clear, intelligent, or deep to say
Realizing for the first time
Remembering just how
Your friends noticed you got all "deep and philosophical"
When I entered the room
You tried to blend into the wall paper of my heart
Adapt, transform, keep up
But you fell so very very very far behind
I could see it happening so clearly
I cried out for help in the littlest ways
And I think you tried a time or two
But at my darkest
It was you, you, you.

Just like The Joker said last night
Theres somethin' 'bout these 24 year old men
City men, they think they got it all
Trying to be grown up but drinkin' out of sippy cups
As the internet turns me off from the clinginess of others
I said I was gonna take a break
As the Sound Operator ran my way
Only to yes, yes
Be another disappointment.

I give up
What a freeing thing.