I do my hair at night
Play dress up in the dark
Why do I show the best
The prettiest parts of me
In shadows and closed rooms
Where no one else can see?

In the morning, I don’t brush
My dark unruly hair
I don’t powder up my face
To hide my imperfections
Is it the real or ugly side
I’m showing by these actions?

But can’t they all be
One and the same thing?
To be ugly and beautiful
And at once so completely real
It was the way we were made
We changed it to fit our ideals

And I smile behind closed doors
The only real smile I can muster
I laugh at nothing at all
When there’s nobody else around
If I do this out there, I’m crazy
So out there, I make no sound

Why is beauty only found
Behind all these closed doors?
In shadows and hidden corners?
They’re the only real places we are allowed
To be free of ruthless players

I think I know why now.