I wish I could speak the words weighing heavy on my heart at 4am, and I want to feel alive. I want to be someone who kisses another out of love— not obligation, and I want to cling onto forevers because I am overflowing with hope.
But I break promises on purpose now and it doesn't hurt me one bit, and I am only vulnerable towards my bedroom walls and shower floor because they are the only ones who care to listen. I sit silent in the car and I count down the minutes until I'm alone again.
I have not even scratched the surface of who I want to be.