but when i leave
will there be nothing?
will my solipsistic
(vaguely narcissistic)
beliefs be proved
with an ephemeral body
and even more fleeting soul?

will there just be blackness?
or will i be with someone
(or something)
greater than my sordid self?
i don't mean to be nihilistic
but how can i not be
when we're so short-lived?
how can anything matter
when we know no answers
and tell so many lies?

i am ready for blackness.
it sounds so quiet.
life is all too loud
for my agnostic mind.