Here I am
At more of a stand still
Than an uphill
Battle of will
I have an ill mind
And I find it hard to not base my life around time
So all I can really do is redirect the way my brain falls in line
I have this shrine of God in my head
But it has nothing to do with religion or my need for saving
I walk below the ground because I'm close to caving
Nothing really is what it seems so I look to dreams more often than reality
In this day and age how can anyone really be satisfied
Just thinking about my future has my anxiety amplified
You really are my comfort zone
Anything outside of what I can say to you is far from being known
I'm in a stage of life that has loads of temporary people
Most of them think they mean something to me
But we're not even on the same playing field
Sometimes I get stopped in my tracks and I'm forced to yield
But I can't help that my mouth works faster than my brain sometimes
My handwriting is sloppy because my hands shake when I'm under pressure
My mind wanders off to my next adventure
If only I could control my stutter
But time is an illusion and we are all going under
I randomly feel my heart in my chest when it's out of rhythm
Maybe I'll go back to the doctor
I locked her out of my veins because dark thoughts can seep through my blood and up to my brain
I've trained myself to feel numb now
This is all off the record
But in Denver I was going to walk into a busy road
At 2a.m. roads should not be busy
Don't people sleep anymore?
I'm definitely torn between living mainstream and living totally free
Because I think society is trying to mold us all into wannabes
I think there's a flaw in my code
I'm more of a social norm stereotype gone rogue
Because I believe in multiple interests and not having a consistent mailing address
Life is a mess
But the good kind
Definitely the good kind