i feel nothing
yet desire everything
i've ****** up all the rivers
and filled my stomach full of oceans.
always thirsting for more.
im addicted to this black tar
hate that i inject into
my veins
and
i can't stop.
i have become addiction itself
manifested into its purest form
flesh
and blood.


and
all the people in this place they got me in shackles
for fear that i'll destroy everything they've worked for
and
i want nothing more then
to break free
to
run with the horses
wind in my hair
sing song chuckle in my throat
birds
laughter swaying along with these drunk city streets.

i want to cut myself a little slice of this cake we call the world
and pick the continents out of my teeth
splurge on myself for once
without showing all of this ******* restraint.
let the world eat out of the palm of my hand for a change
and kick the people that live in it where it hurts when they're down on their knees
laping up the remnants of their homes
and children
to get some sustenance in their stomachs
like starving kittens licking milk off
your dirt  coated kitchen floor
.


we've all turned into a disease
occupied with the temporary
to distract ourselves
from the bigger picture
and
im not strung out on the petty
anymore.

**** racism
**** sexism
and all of our other differences
i hate you all equally.


this hate has set me free
and killed me at the same time
no more shackles on my arms
no more moths full of ****
in my mouth

i will continue to say whatever the **** i want to
even
if my teeth fall out
because
that's the way
it should be.

that's the way it use to be.
that's the right ******* way
not all this politically correct *******.

i need to run.

the fog horns
are fogging up my ears
and
im hung over
from that **** i smoked last night

one foot in front of the other i tell myself
and suddenly i have become a blazing inferno
propelled with momentum
into the arms of the trees
my legs are tired but i can't stop now
friction burning my thighs like a single ember sparking a fire in their eyes..
they want me
back
in that place
with the voices in my head
but
that place will destroy me
but so will
this
constant running
away from everything

and
i'll end up killing myself one way or another
but i'd rather die a free woman
then
a
woman so numbed on medication
and lies that i can't
remember my own grandkids names

(sorry grandma)

so now
i've run myself to the end of the road
and the flesh is scraped off these bones
and littered across the cities sidewalk like snake skin.

there's no more water left
and people are dying
from the lack of love in the air

we are a disease.
parasitic in nature.

there is no wining
there is no losing
the
well
has run
dry of emotion
and
there is nothing left for us here.