Last night
at precisely 12 o'clock
I met the devil in
a dark parking lot
I asked him
why he was there and
what he thought

He said
"Oh, I think I'll go
where they all know me
where every gal in town
will offer to *******
and as they bend to their wicked knees
I'll hand them a mouthful of STD's
with no guilt, and no respect
I'll decide what they think,
they'll serve me best.
Oh, I think I'll go
where the crime is rampant
and guns aren't for show
you know,
way down south
toward Mexico"

I said
"Oh, I know that place
won't have to show me
I was there last week
the bartender knows me
but I didn't realize she had
a disease
can you heal this for me,
if you please?"

"That's sick,"
He said,
"But I know the feeling,
I am sorry, but
I don't do the healing."

"You've got the wrong brother,"
He said with a laugh,
then he grabbed my **** and
he bit it in half.

"I don't do grace,
I don't do blessings"


There was blood on his face
as he lapped up the dressing.