When the air gets colder
And my clothes get heavier
Your hugs only seem to get warmer
Your kisses on my forehead only seemed to get sweeter

But that was all a dream a forgotten storm
You left so many years ago
I have even forgotten your rank
I have forgotten why you didn't come home

At first I only thought the worst
I only thought the inevitable
That you died in combat
That I wouldn't be able to say to
Good bye to you

I loved you so much
Mother says she kicked you out
because you
were mean to us
That you called us names

The sad thing is I only hold on to the
Fondest of memories with you
The happy ones
The ones where you held me and
Cradled me in your arms

I know somewhere in your heart you
Didn't come home because you
Didn't feel like abandoning your post
Or maybe you were way too busy!

I was only four when you left
I was a only a child
I was only a kid
When you left it was just brother
Mother and I

We made it work without you though
I grew up idolizing other father figures
I grew up wanting to be more like the
Man of the house to take over
YOUR role

Hey! You should see me now!
I am a teenager and I know you would
be proud of the woman I've turned into
If only you were here to see us
After all this time
And hey! Help my mom pay for
Things considering we are still your children
Maybe you should think about us

I know you're fighting with
The Marines but I still can't handle the fact
That I HAD a dad
That someone was there for us

But that's fine now
Who really cares
I know you don't