it feels like i am swallowing
***** of tissues and stacking them
carefully along my throat.
it feels like i can see it from the corner of my eye but i
choose to keep looking straight
ahead.
it feels like staring a brewing, frothing storm in
the eye and then closing the curtains and
looking at a painting of a bright blue
summer's day.
it feels like ghostly touches that slip their pinkies through
mine and promise to never let
go.
it feels like i am the biggest russian doll and
all the ones inside me are shaking violently,
cracking at my walls,
clawing at the veneer,
peeling at the paint,
yet i am standing perfectly
still with a painted smile that tells
all my lies.
it feels like it is the ship and i am the bottle and a
gust of wind is ready to carry it
away and knock my over until i am
shattered,
scattered.
it feels like i am a shell and it is slowly
eating away at me, but only i can see my
cracks and fissures.