this is not the path I wanted to go
this is not how I wanted us to grow
I’ve been down this path once before to know
this is the feeling of tumbling down a rabbit hole
what have I done
or rather, what have I let happen
I said I wanted us to stay pure please
please don’t push me down the rabbit hole I said
you don’t know how hard it was for me
to find my way out the first time
and you don’t know I haven’t been home since
haven’t smoothened out creases in this rumpled white dress
haven’t found how removing these stains work
and yet, here I am, again
you know, mud stains on this white lace seem fitting
you took my hand and led me down the aisle
an aisle I knew I’d walked before
I recognised the rotting leaves
the trees that seemed to wail “you should leave”
I knew soon we would arrive at the rabbit hole
I never pushed you away, only said please
white rabbit,
I should’ve known you were the white rabbit
entranced by pocket watches only counting hours
ticking off seconds and watching time closely
this is the hour you will take me by the hand
this is the minute I fall for you
this is the split second before I say “I do”
white dress, you chose this for me, white rabbit
just to see at the altar how I would look in white but sullied
“I still can’t believe how you look next to me,
just like a ******* bedroom scene”
we used to be so decent
mud stains, creases, the only things sincere about me right now
white rabbit, you knew the exact moment I would fall
down the rabbit hole
again