I didn't want
I didn't want to begin with
I didn't want this
I remember the days before I was born,
the great nothings of that time are branded,
seared and scarred
into my mind
I didn't want days
I didn't mind the nothing
It was quite pleasant, if I recall correctly
that grey nonexistence
that black nothing
I didn't want all these somethings
I didn't want at all

It was comforting.
But the questions hurt
and the wanting came suddenly, harshly
and it will never leave
we are beings of want
beings of try and try again

I don't want to try
I don't try to want
I try
I want

Did you want to be alive?
Did you try to be born?
Did you choose existence?

I know I didn't.
It was forced upon me.