There will always be a voice
that tells me that
I'm stupid for failing a test...
I'm dumb for worrying pointlessly...
That I'll never be loved...
and everyone hates me..
That I'm ugly and imperfect..
I'm worthless...
too ugly, too stupid, too shy...
too mentally unstable...
that I'm just making up social anxiety...
and the depression...
I hold on to little things
comments made years ago
things said in anger
Things that I've done
that I regret, everyone
bite my hand until it bleeds
wonder if I should go jump  in the water
I think I should be dead.
just another day of losing my head?
I'm a sister and a daughter
a friend and an enemy
but here I am,
wallowing in self-pity.
Pessimistic,
breathing but not too sure I'm living
just existing,
and wondering if I shouldn't.