My body is way beyond bent out of shape
After years and years of abuse
That I might just have time to make my own wake
If I don't soon enough figure out what to do

I've tried this and that, all the fads to be had
The hidden secrets to the fat burn
I've climbed mountain sides, talked with gurus passing by
And still I've yet to learn

I'm setting all the wrong free as skinny keeps eluding me
It's a master on the fly
If only one time it would just find to light
Right around my inner thighs

I'm now thinking my fate is more Shake 'n Bake
Than that of long and lean
Any ideas please feel free to call me
On my direct line down at Krispy Kreme