i laid there for 2 hours
staring at the blades of
the oak ceiling fan as they
created a constant rhythm
stirring the air that
was circulating this
godforsaken room.

i laid there with just
a shirt on
plucking the torn
threads that sprouted
from the couch cushions --
i just laid there.
numb.

nothing really seemed the same anymore


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


tell me,

why didn't you stop?
i asked you to stop
14 times
and those stops were
intertwined with
quiet, desperate whispers
of "please" and "no"
i know you heard me
i know you knew what
you were doing
and i know that you
knew that i wanted you to
stop.

but you didn't.
you didn't stop.

so look at me,
take a look at me.
fractured, unraveling and
spiraling downward faster
than anything you've ever seen.

look what you've done.
**look at me.