I am....
trapped...
inside my mind
I dont know what it is
there is beauty in front of me
I see it
I reach my hand out....
but stop.....
I look at my scarred and marred hand
I think of all i have done
the fighting
the torment that I put myself through
I know I do it
but I cant seem to stop it
but I stop myself now
how can I ever hold anything beautiful
because I know what that beauty is....
it's love....
but I'm too scarred
I seem to scare everyone away
because they see the scary part of me.....
I dont mean to show it
it just comes out
though I want to hide that part of me
that beastly part that hurts
I try to keep people close
that I want to protect.....
if they'd let me protect them
I've had to stand strong
and I do....
when I can....
but I break down, I just wait for noone to be around to see....
I hide but then I come back and stand strong once again
even if I just want to break down again...
I dont know what's left
so I ask
what's next?