I have known him
When he lets me know him
I can usually not see over the walls
And I don't know why I am almost always on the outside
Or how to get in or if I am welcome or why I still care
But I do
I admire him
I am still captivated by him
By his strength, his bravery, his courage, his mind, his body
His compassion, his humanity, his humor, his, well, everything
And even if he never speaks to me again
I need for him to know that
His life is so precious to me
That I cannot bear to think of this world
Without him in it
He would be greatly missed
He matters in ways he may not even know
Some of his struggles are the same as mine
The darkness, the demons, and the lightness and friendly ghosts too
He lives with it all
And I'm so proud of him and also grateful for all I learned
I would always try to be there if he reaches out
Even if it's just as a friend in need of a kind word
Knowing this man has been
The most illuminating, moving, satisfying thing that ever happened to me