I. I've heard that attaining happiness is as easy as waking up and saying 'I want to be happy.' I can't even bring myself close to accomplishing this and I'm starting to think that I don't want to get better.

II. for as long as I can remember my mind and my heart have always stood in opposition with each other and every decision I made would be followed by regret. I won't be able to succeed if both exist at once so maybe I'll be even more successful if I hit a vein and neither of them exist anymore.

III. I've always felt reluctant towards change which is probably why i can't just decide to be happy. I've found comfort in the depression and now I can't look elsewhere.

IV. if it was up to my heart I would have been happy years ago. if it were up to my brain I'd "know too much" to be happy.