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I listened to the rhythms of my every single day
and learned that I throw daggers more than I could ever say
I keep my body grounded but I keep my mind afloat
still, every intercession comes from my own Spirit’s Hope

I listened to the words I kept on letting out of me
and learned that I can’t bury what I cannot not believe
You keep my body moving and You keep my mind intact
with every intercession, You make all of me come back
I’ve learned to keep my tongue to me in every kind of way
my body has a language but my mouth has more to say
as long as I am tethered to the mind You gave to me
I’ll give a second thought to every word I’ll ever speak

I’ve learned to let the tenderness You rooted in my soul
become the strength I fight to keep when I am in the throes
as long as I stay present, I won’t fall into the past
I’ll give my thoughts a listen and remain in You, steadfast

I’ve learned to let my senses claim as much of me as You
my eyes and ears and mouth and skin are sensitive to Truth
as long as I can find You, I will never talk away
Your body has a language that has so much more to say
”Кто хранит уста свои и язык свой, тот хранит от бед душу свою.“
‭‭Притчи Соломона‬ ‭21‬:‭23‬ ‭
sometimes I feel invisible, sometimes I feel so seen
but mostly I exist inside the subtle in-between
I tarry in the stillness, let it satisfy my soul
but carry all the pieces that You give to make me whole

on paper I am brighter than the sun on any day
but underneath my skin I am another kind of way
I give up all the energy I have inside of me  
and leave myself with nothing more than everything I need

today I feel as visible as every kind of Grace
I walked into this morning knowing I would see Your Face
the papers I’ve been reading made their way out of my hands
so here I am rewriting all the words I know I can
slow down, you’ll get there.
I talk to you in private, more than anybody knows
I tell you all my secrets and it satisfies my soul
you walk with me my daily route and always stop to ask
“I’m here to stay, I’ll always be, but where do your feet stand?”

I’m walking on the soil now, I’m testing out terrain
I’ve walked through some that bit me back and made me feel insane
I don’t know what to tell you now, but I know how to be
I know I am the part of you that I can always see

I talk to you in private, like I’m talking to myself
I tell you who I want to be, but I’m  somebody else
I am not you, your are not me, we are not black and white
I’ll meet you in the middle where the colors come alive
Veritas.
if I am unbecoming all the words you’ve never read
then I can take my time while I go walking through your head
you’ll never even see me and you’ll never even know
I’ll speak into your body, may it reap what it will sow

if I am unbecoming all the traits in me you knew
then I will be the mountain you will not know how to move
you’ll never even feel me and you’ll never even think
I’ll be with you forever, every single time you blink

but

if I am unbecoming all the words you’ve ever read
then I will pick my body up and bury it instead
you’ll find me in the in-betweens, in laughter and in sighs
I’ll be in every single breath, you never will know why
who you think i am or who i am
I felt my heart be still tonight, I focused on my breath
I rearranged my thoughts so I could get out of my head
I started building bridges and I crossed them every day
I learned about my body in a certain kind of way

I picked apart the memories I’d never written down
and realized carnality was always on the ground
to go below its surface took another kind of strength
I’d never be this human ever in my life again

I spoke my truth indelibly, with every cell in me
and fell apart in ways I didn’t know that I would need  
I felt my heart go still tonight, I focused on my life
I went to sleep with Hope that I would see another night
on life and death, on every single moment
see, there is a moment, a speckle in Time
when you’re in the darkness before you see Light
you follow the patterns inside of your brain
and relive the memories that caused you such pain

but somehow your heart stirs the body it keeps
and offers perspectives you never could see
you choose to start living and breathing anew
you pick up the pieces, surrender to Truth

see, there is a moment, a second you get
to live in your body or die in your head
the latter comes easy, society says
the former is work for the rest of your breaths
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