i cannot fathom
the (i'd)ea
of you (go)ing away
and leav(in)g
me here,
i(s)olated ,
unable to st(an)d
by mys(e)lf.i cannot fathom
the (i'd)ea
of you (go)ing away
and leav(in)g
me here,
i(s)olated ,
unable to st(an)d
by mys(e)lf.

n.d.

you're perfect
and you'd be perfect
even if your hair was short
    or long
and your eyes were brown
   or blue
and your lips were big
   or small
and you're feeling down
   and need someone
i just want you to know
   you're perfect.

n.d.

you deserve to be
the last thought before i fall
asleep at night, and

you deserve to be
the last person i ever
hurt, and you deserve

to be the last page
in my notebook because you
inspired my words

n.d.

may 23rd
you gave me a necklace
with a heart locket
and it had my name

and on may 24th
the clasp broke
and i lost the locket
with my name on the outside

may 25th
i went looking
for the heart
that said my name

may 26th
i found the chain
and the broken clasp
that made my name lost

may 27th
i said i was sorry
and you said
"it's fine"

may 28th
i didn't believe you
when you said
"it's fine"

and today, on may 29th
i found the heart
that said my name
it was in your chest all along

n.d.

and i've showered four times today
    already
and i wish i knew why
i cannot scrub off shame
and disgust
and all other filth
like i would if it were dirt.

n.d.

your name is so beautiful
it's written on my walls
and my wrist
and my thighs
and it's always on the tip of my tongue
written in my fogged up mirror
    after a shower
doodled on my notebook
under "favorite contacts" on my phone
title of my poems
(even the really dumb ones)
and etched into my brain,
engraved into my heart

n.d.

i fancy
the thought of diving
into a slumber
like diving into a pool
with soft pillows
and fresh sheets rippling.
and much like swimming
and wading
sometimes i wish i could stay here
forever
but we know that'd drown me
and that'd feel
just like how it feels
when i wake up
and my reality can't even compare
to sleep.

n.d.