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3.7k · Jul 2014
our faults // our stars
taylor kathleen Jul 2014
life can deliver unexpected news
the way you handle the outcome is something to choose.

hazel grace was young when she was dealt her fate
cancer consumed her thyroid then lungs, she deteriorated at a slow rate.

she never did give up, even when hearing her mother's sobbing whispers of believing she would die
hazel regained strength enough to attend activities in the literal heart of jesus with the ball-less, guitar guy.

then one day augustus waters appeared out of the blue
blind isaac's friend without a leg and a half smile hazel viewed.

he stared at this sickly teen with compassion and curiosity in his eyes
hazel stared back wondering why anyone would fall for a person that would soon die.

augustus pulled out a cigarette and placed it in between his teeth
a metaphor that could never **** him but brought comfort beneath.

after the lesson he immediately made plans to watch a movie
he drove like a maniac but hazel thought he was pretty groovy.

the time she shared with this new soul was overwhelmingly amazing
the cancer was soon forgotten and their mutual desires were blazing.

she revealed her one kept secret- an imperial affliction
her favorite book and his the price of dawn- max mayhem's adventures became her new addiction.

he loved her natalie portman style, oxygen tank phillip and witty charm
she loved how he never let his cancer make him feel alarmed.

he was on a roller-coaster that only went up, that was his daily quote
hazel felt intrigued by this optimistic note.

she slowly relapsed when water filled her lungs
telling her dream guy to leave this grenade while their love was still young.

after a youth-cancer meeting, isaac grabbed monica's ***** and repeated two syllables to this pretentous ****
and when hazel and augustus listened to "always"- he knew he could never let his new soulmate run.

monica ditched isaac when hearing he would lose his sight
augustus let his best friend break his existentially-fraught free throw trophies and throw eggs at her car with all his pain and might.

phone calls/texts quickly showed "okay" was hazel and augustus' term
this was a word that portrayed their love could always be reaffirmed.

a swing set in hazel's backyard soon brings her to tears
augustus helps her give it to a new family to use for many years.

they fell in love with the way you fall asleep, slowly then all at once
their love grew unbreakable in those shortly shared months.

although augustus knew the world was not a wish-granting factory
he had a plan that he believed hazel would think satisfactory

hazel's dying wish was used in disney, augustus ashamed but still kept his for the perfect time
to see author peter van houten was a dream for hazel and he made it come true- they would see him in amsterdam while still in their prime.

a night in amsterdam hazel will never forget: drinking star-infused champagne and eating decadent food with a boy who wore a suit for the dead
later they shared intimacy and hazel grace left a diagram for her love- augustus was no longer a ****** with one leg and he chuckled at what she said.

the next day they went to see the genius van houten and hazel dressed like ana trying to contain her emotions
turns out he was simply a rude drunk and after calling him "******-pants" they stormed out but the ****'s stewardess came with a kind notion.

she took them both to the house of anne frank
sharing a kiss words cannot describe, they left and gave thanks.

before leaving back to the states, hazel could tell augustus holds back
he finally states the cancer lit his body like a christmas tree and hazel's heart felt attacked.

back in indiana she cares for her dying lover
she finds him trying to buy cigs and infected from his disease, he was trying so hard to cover.

augustus knows he is going to die so he asks isaac and hazel to meet him in the literal heart of jesus, each with a eulogy
he wants to attend his own funeral, hearing isaac crack jokes and hazel thanking him for their little infinity was stated so beautifully.

a few weeks later augustus dies
no energy for living, hazel cannot remove the tears from her eyes.

she did not share her heart-felt letter at his funeral because she wanted their love to remain within each other's hearts
she dictated kind words then was greeted by van houten, finding out his daughter was ana and died from cancer, drinking eased the fact that they would always be apart.

isaac relinquished to hazel that augustus wrote to her before his time ended
van houten e-mailed his writing and her heart was truly mended.

reading his ideology that he liked his choices of who hurt him and he wondered if she did too
taking in this precious letter hazel whipered, "i do augustus, i do".
#tfios #poetry #summerbook #hazelgrace #augustuswaters #truelove
taylor kathleen Dec 2016
.   .   .
pumpkin spice and everything nice.
all the girls fall for your charm.
uggs click three times to go home.
a refreshing gulp of processed sugar
accompany a nicholas sparks novel
and future thunder thighs.
mugs full of wonder and spite.
380 calories to tighten those leggings.
smashing pumpkins for your pleasure,
extra large sweater please!
cream ****** dry from a tortured cow,
whipped senselessly to the brim.
our name scribbled onto your exterior,
pronunciation awfully wrong.
drip drop on the ruffle of your infinity scarf.
this grande drink will make you largo.
a pinch of nutmeg for satisfaction.
but first, let me take a selfie.
pumpkin spice and everything not so nice.
.   .   .
745 · Oct 2015
my asteroid.
taylor kathleen Oct 2015
in life, people have their own paths, trajectories... going through space.
those who aren't on the same path as you will collide into you briefly but continue on into a slightly different direction. we forever affect each other when our paths intersect.

you and i collided during the fresh part of my nineteenth year.
it was intended for fulfilling the desire of companionship yet became platonic.
you were a bad boy; rough exterior but in my perspective were a dear.
such a switch on my usual attraction aspect, not enjoying your habits that were persistently chronic.

those eyes
oh those eyes

i truly saw your inner buddha- i opened your box.
we clicked. never have i felt such comfort in a short amount of time,
however; you didn't change, in the end still sneaky as a fox....
my knowledge that you lie and cheat made me come to the conclusion that you would never be mine.

i fell in love. my first love. my asteroid. kyle.
hard to believe in a desert of all the places!
you held me ever so tight, gave me wicked butterflies & a goober smile.
still, left was uncertainty and doubt- many traces.

my mind was puzzled and never felt right.
i switched motives daily, always changing my mind. where is my mind?
attempting to hold onto our relationship i put everything fourth with all my being, my might....
found out the truth after a first intimate night; you led me blind.

really? you ****** her. i asked you over and over still lies.
really? you told him. a private matter you shared with a friend.
really? you could never prove a change- same black skies.
really? you betrayed my trust. we'll never be the same in the end.

you were my first love
at least i think
my asteroid that is now moving on after collision... my life you are out of
no more late night cuddles, simplistic kisses or terrible winks.

happiness fills my soul now that i can move on
for my heart broke in half and i have to mend it on my own
i do not regret our time spent, never thought it was wrong.
a man who truly respects and loves me will find me someday, for now i find myself alone.

thank you kyle for letting me get to know you without a mask.
this journey was an adventure and i'll never look back.
#breakup #firstlove #victimsversusvillians #asteroids
623 · Sep 2014
breakfast @ tiffany's.
taylor kathleen Sep 2014
audrey rarely got the mean reds
but when she did, the answer was never to stay in bed
she would grab a cup of joe
peer out the window
nibbling on her breakfast treat
while sparkling jewels radiated so neat
the sight would replenish her mind and warm her heart
after tiffany's, ms. hepburn's day would happily start

this was HER solution- here is mine.

the mean reds are affecting me as i type
my method of distraction always gets me out of this hype
simply put- i need a steaming cup of gypsy green tea
a warm blankie and dimly lit room help the thoughts start to flee
then all it takes is a song to set me in the mood
typically "find it" can configure a less shaken attitude
then i drift away and think of all my blessings
the mean reds are gone and my life is less distressing

thank you audrey.
#breakfastattiffanys #audreyhepburn #meanreds #familyoftheyear #greentea #mellowmentality #findit
taylor kathleen Jul 2014
.  .  .
i was only seven when your demons arrived in my home
playing with toys & dressing like a princess in my castle i would roam
then things turned upside down
it started in the middle bedroom where you burned my crown
brother playing video games and his back turned from the action
sister with her doll on the bottom bunk having her own distraction
you had laid behind me- slowly putting your hand down my pants
i was so scared and so innocent that i could not bear to glance
stripped from my cleanliness and confused by your ways
never telling my parents of those incredibly tragic days
keeping this secret for many years i ran into trouble
middle school was darker than darkness as suicide became my hidden bubble
cutting my arms/legs or holding my breath underwater until i turned blue
wrapping rope around my neck and leaning forward hoping air would not come through
hitting my head repeatedly because i thought i caused wrong
even putting that knife up to my neck because i felt i did not belong
permanent scarring was emotionally painful, the mirror said "disgrace"
i felt trapped- suffocating and dying because closing my eyes i saw only your face
some of it a blur but i remember being told to block everything out
my memory now partially remembers- there are things i have no full knowledge about
you did all of this to me
thinking your presence would come again would be a guarantee
nightmares engraved in my skull of you touching me again
made me lose every ounce of trust & respect in this world full of men
i remember packing up my belongings and walking down the street
eight years young and thinking this would make things complete
being out of the lives of ones i had "hurt"
until i soon understood you were to blame for the actions that i tried to avert
transforming into a woman has become a continuous struggle in my youth
you left marks on my body i can never cover and memories that are difficult forgetting to tell you the truth
c. - you are the destroyer but also the constructor of my story
i have learned protective instincts and transformed from a victim to a survivor through those times which were ever so gory
indeed my puzzle is missing pieces a girl should always remember
like the happiness of playing with friends or with my family together  
still i have days where i feel disgusted by my past
wishing i could replace those moments of when i was harassed
now i begin to think this was pure destiny
i am stronger and more independent so it seems you did not break me
looking down the road i believe the future will be bright
my past will remain distressing but i can never lose this fight
.  .  .
573 · Jul 2014
religion is a curse.
taylor kathleen Jul 2014
i believe religion to be none other than a wicked curse.
i cannot bear the thought to affiliate with an organized group of people who believe in a specific set of ideas which occurred in the past.
the reason behind my logic associates with the basic perception-
there is more than one belief- so which is true?
i ask this because only one can logically be true.
catholic, christian, methodist, lutheran, mormon, buddhist, hindu, etc.
i have constructed in my mind the reasonable ideology that the truth will never be fully discovered. i may try to search for answers, but in the end, i know nothing can ever be factually explained.
in conclusion, i have chosen to be me.
if this banishes me to hell, so be it.
if this sends me to heaven, so be it.
i'm a realist and i have faith- but i will never indulge fully into one religion that "believes" they are right because i will always ask myself- "are they?".
religion is a curse that i wish to avoid in life.
#religion #beliefs #notathiest #butnotabeliever #thetruthishidden #livetobeyou
520 · May 2015
the bell jar.
taylor kathleen May 2015
i miss the feeling of being sad because being empty is so much worse. you are alone.
you are weak.
and most of all, you are not who you used to be.

i never used to be this way. i was different, i was me. i used to love me- where did i go? please.

this change is going to **** me.

it could be the fact that i fled from my home. or that i currently reside in a location where my identity is unknown- even to the people who see me everyday. they do not know me- nobody knows me.

i don't know me. i don't know me. i don't know me.....

my life is a bell jar, and i will slowly suffocate if my "me" is really gone.
487 · Jul 2014
friendship is bittersweet.
taylor kathleen Jul 2014
make new friends
but keep the old
one is silver
and the other gold
but lately the old is less interested than the new
time is running short and i will leave here very soon
the old does not realize her motives affect me
acting as though i am not important to her, i feel like an absentee
the summer will soon end and we have barely been together
making me feel alone & sad because wasn't it "best friends forever"?
i know you do not think your actions are wrong
but step in my shoes and sense the pain i have felt all along
so i am truly grateful to begin a timeless friendship with the new
my adventurous energy is finally coming back when around you
  friendship is bittersweet for the new and old make you change
i hold a place in my heart for both and hope they do not go estrange.
sometimes i wish she would notice how much i invest into our friendship. she is all i have in this world sometimes and i just want to make the most of the time we have before we both are separated. #feelinghelpless #lonely #friendships #newandold
taylor kathleen Jul 2014
my daily routine incorporates morphing thoughts i seem to shed,
constantly struggling with anxiety over future plans.
mornings are the only time i can actually be inside my head,
my ears are comforted by the silence and i know where i stand.
~
as the day soon arrives i over-analyze my surrounding space,
my mind gasps for breath, my body tenses & my soul diminishes light.
coming into the "real world" makes me feel like i'm last in a race,
everyone in front is so eager to age that their actions block my sight.
~
i feel like a lost spirit in this society because i just want to feel alive,
if conforming is the only way to be successful, why would i even strive?
#drowning #desiringchange
456 · Jul 2018
a radical shift
taylor kathleen Jul 2018
she used to see things
with a touch of innocence
and a glimmer of good
ideas misunderstood
her heart just wanted
to invite a different form
a craving which
consumed her core
inhibition of reality
disorienting the young spirit
from her well acquainted world
elements of deception
took control of the broken girl
a new shift of life
take away the sugar
replace with the spice
452 · Jul 2014
blind.
taylor kathleen Jul 2014
through my seventeen-year existence
i have realized that every human can connect to one another.
we are like the paper dolls children cut in school
connected... united.

like the "red string"
the ancient proverb stating that there is a red string linking us all
it can be tangled, knotted, stretched... but never can it break.

however; society is blind.
technology has become an evil nobody notices.
invested in social media, i have seen things that will destroy families.
staring into the abyss of the internet, into apps or infamous gossip
people do not realize that it is NOT important.

seriously now, what ever happened to going outside everyday?
a powerful quote that inspires me daily is to act like a child.
spend time outside, sleep more, eat a balanced meal.

we are blind. humanity is only driven by the sight of others.
stop trying to impress others and live for YOU.
this life only comes once- who wants to waste it in a fake, materialistic world?

i hope one day we regain our vision.
i hope human beings can have actual conversations without the use of a phone, computer or tv.
i hope we will see that our actions impair the future generation.
has anyone noticed how these younger folk are so impolite and irresponsible?

let's set down the technology.
stop drinking and smoking and having meaningless ***.

stop being blind society because this life truly is beautiful, you just can't see it.
#seethetruth #stopsociety #wherewillitgofromhere #downhill
382 · Jul 2014
the endless summer.
taylor kathleen Jul 2014
it's an odd predicament for the days are short and long
i could be wrong
there is so much to do yet so little time
becoming an adult has always made me whine
straight out of high school you have to construe a plan
college, job, relationship, and activities are thoughts i cannot stand
i just want to be happy and free
enjoy these blistering days with a book, some tunes, and just being me
i do not want to be labeled as anything or follow a distinct trail
whatever comes my way- my own ship i will sail
so stop saying it will never work or i cannot afford the money or time
i will make it work, the future is just a trek of ******* i have to climb
let me enjoy my last summer as a teenager & waste the days away
it's an endless three months that only comes on more time before i can no longer stay.
#endlesssummer #stress #wastingtime #letithappen
365 · Jul 2014
the hidden heart.
taylor kathleen Jul 2014
i am beginning to believe my heart is lost
in an abyss full of loneliness and confusion it is simply forgot
where is my heart?
it is possible i left it in the ocean drowning beneath waves
or even under a tree i climbed as a child on those warm summer days
where is my heart?
i do not sense love even if attraction is present
i feel incapable of belonging to someone to an unbearable extent
where is my heart?
i always desire a soul i can divulge anything to
but without a heart this can never come true
where is my heart?
believe me i have tried to search for it again and again
it is somewhere in the depths below my lonesome skin
i will continue to question where lies this crucial ***** of mine
but it appears i will stand alone if there appears no sign
where is my heart?
329 · Jul 2014
plath.
taylor kathleen Jul 2014
your words fuel my brain
tragedy and meaning i can sustain.

brilliant aspects of wonder in your books
i love the way you think, your worldly look.

sylvia,
oh sylvia.
#sylviaplath #favorite
324 · Apr 2017
tea tree toothpicks
taylor kathleen Apr 2017
i knew i loved you
when you would be my protecting ***** guard
when your face lit up over a dinosaur book
when we took ugly photos in our blues
when we slapped each other across the face
when you weren't intimidated by my height
when we were poooooosers
when you made me laugh
when i played with your hair
when you looked at me
when we hugged minutes before i left for home

i knew i loved you
when we saw each other after a year
when we would starfish under the sheets
when you whispered along my neck
when you took care of me on drunken nights
when i nestled under your arm
when you spent christmas with me
when you wanted me for new years
when you brought me food
when i put that eye mask on your face
when you left those toothpicks on my nightstand
when you were there for me when nobody else was

i knew i couldn't love you
when you told me you could never date me
when i took you to the wedding
when you never chose me

i knew i couldn't love you
even when i always did
#lostlove
320 · Dec 2016
// the man y la mujer //
taylor kathleen Dec 2016
lonesome eyes lock amidst the herbal steam in a zen cafe

twirling ruby noodles with cheesy jokes and promising smiles

lethargic lips draw near under a shower of new beginnings

a medley of possessions occupy the forgotten panels of a rustic home

her chiffon pearl gown glides across a narrow alley of blush rose pedals

his laborious hands cradle their infant: one salty bead crawls down his bristly cheek

unknown illness defeats her fragile heart: thirty-seven years young

enticing trigger releases in his despondent grip

forever eternally: the man and the woman


siempre eternamente: el hombre y la mujer

comunicados de gatillo sugerentes en su agarre abatido

enfermedad desconocida derrota a su frágil corazón: treinta y siete años de joven

sus manos laboriosas cuna su bebé: una perla salada se arrastra por sus mejilla hirsuta

su vestido de la gasa de la perla desliza a través de un estrecho callejón de rubor rosa pedales

un popurrí de las posesiones ocupan los paneles olvidados de una casa rústica

letárgicos labios se acercan bajo una lluvia de nuevos comienzos

haciendo girar los fideos rubí con sirve bromas y sonrisas prometedoras

ojos solitarios en medio del bloqueo de vapor de hierbas en un café zen
taylor kathleen Apr 2017
the middle bedroom:
brother's torn futon pointed at the television
he controls the neon animated race car
sister sits on the top mattress practicing
braids on her doll's golden locks
the youngest lay below with the her cousin behind
everything seems fine

until she feels his warm palm stretch across
her innocent hip
steadily inching his way into her ruffled *******
and making her touch the untouchable

she couldn’t even tie her shoes.

the bathroom:
pain began to suffocate her
a razor blade made pretty lines along her thighs
blue face refused air under the grimy water of a tub
a lanyard wrapped around her neck twice to extinguish any oxygen
thirteen caps of sleeping medicine

she couldn’t even drive a car.

the cheap hostel:
one too many ciders in the berlin pub
the gentleman grabs her hand
clumsily walks her home
“stop.”
it was all a blur when he led her upstairs
when he took off their clothes
when she said no
when he never stopped

she couldn’t even legally drink.

memories burned and ashes buried
she needed to let go.

life was now perceived as a kaleidoscope of meaning
each color representing a state of mindfulness
and for her to attain the sacred
metamorphosis of nirvana
she accepted that attachment is the root of all suffering

a radical change was desperately required
because happiness is a warm gun.

she shot her past self
from her present existence
and now life was in her control.
taylor kathleen Jul 2014
.  .  .
with the earth radiating from the light
and human existence out of sight,
your “personal legend” can be found
if motivation is pursued around.

preaching the search to encounter your soul,
coelho clarifies your spirit can be transformed whole.
the wanderlust embodies the mind and the heart
you are you and the truth cannot be forgot.

leave behind the past and hold on to the present for perhaps
worrying of the future time will sooner elapse.
power is wondrous and can amaze even you,
the strength you attain controls beyond what you knew.

this book has character speaking straight to within
eyes interpreting the messages you may pass to your kin.
so find yourself on adventures to perceive what the world has to share
& your "personal legend" will reveal itself by your faith and prayers.
.  .  .
#thealchemist
310 · Jul 2018
feels
taylor kathleen Jul 2018
my sentiments are deep
they keep me full
to experience entirely
radiates as a whole
seeking validation
inherently brings destruction
you cannot empathize
these thoughts
too intricate to define
feelings which are mine
a heart that beats
to the rhythm around
from a slow and steady pace
now a punch and a pound
my past brought me here
let my symphony
be written by this tempo
of emotional harmony
taylor kathleen Apr 2017
falling in love with you
was like riding the ferris wheel 
at a dingy carnival

nervous spasms contaminate my organs
you kiss my shimmering forehead 
under winter’s fallen flakes

lifting leisurely into our first beginning 
mimicking the vintage stars during
a black and white in your
juniper scented pickup 

pausing at the peak to inhale this existence
feet dangle over the conquered summit
those emerald spectacles glance
across in contemplation

gradually we approach a downward descend
whiskey infused breath and a trembling palm
which strikes across my cheek

the cart comes to a halt- our time is up
chucking your torn flannels and 
scuffed boots onto the street corner 

off the platform and onto a new
falling out of love with you 
was like waiting in line
for the next ride.
302 · Jul 2014
the quinessential creature.
taylor kathleen Jul 2014
-so large yet so fragile
-rough yet elegant
your height towers beyond compare
and your structure so rare.
in my eyes, you are the most beautiful thing on earth.
so much grace and understanding that society cannot see your worth.
-mighty yet compassionate
-aggressive yet so skittish
ears that expand so wide & listens for those who mark your flesh:
they lacerate those magnificent tusks and leave you to bleed out.
-deserving admiration and love yet viewed as dangerous
a trunk which aids your mobility to hydrate. a limb to bathe your young or playfully spray bystanders.
skin painted cultural as in places like india- designs of art.
eyes which have witnessed family murders by spirits with cold hearts.
feet that have tread miles to survive
a species in need of protection to stay alive.

elephant, you are a marvel to this world and i wish humanity would open their eyes to your charm.
you're so very vulnerable and should never be harmed.
#protecttheperfection
287 · May 2018
redefine :
taylor kathleen May 2018
sometimes this mad world
leaves me lost in translation
blank pages of the heart
disconnection

do not construct my identity
with your own meaningless words
bending the criteria
i am unlimited

skeptic of purpose
assuming our own ideologies
are universal
that is dehumanizing

you cannot write my story.
286 · May 2015
* find it *
taylor kathleen May 2015
i will find it.
the fool- the one who seeks adventure & has their head in the sky
my flame barely flickers but it is lit.
i ******* hate hate hate hate to cry.

i will find it.
i am going to make it through this year if it kills me.
#begreatness
251 · Apr 2017
new slang +
taylor kathleen Apr 2017
her eyes are open yet she is blinded

blinded by her mind

her lungs inhale // exhale yet she is suffocating

suffocating by her mind

her heart pumps blood yet she is broken

broken by her mind

her body is alive yet she is numb

numb by her mind

her mind does not belong to her

& she does not belong to her mind.
236 · Apr 2017
567 miles
taylor kathleen Apr 2017
I-5 carries me on the southern destination

the same trusted rest stop
pine trees to sagebrush
the tree bearing rusty sneakers

stomach churns down the notorious hill
yielding at our only stoplight-
two years since being
graced by your presence

my hands are moist
and grip the battered wheel

hesitant eyes drown in the
conscience of thick blood

heart punches through the solar plexus

dragging my scrap of metal around the block
one time
three times
seven and now ready

pulling up to a foundation that
contains eighteen years of existence

legs tremble up those rigid pebbled steps

knock knock on the cracked yellow door


i am home.
232 · Dec 2016
f r e e
taylor kathleen Dec 2016
i didn’t want any flowers
i only wanted
to lie with my hands turned up
and be utterly empty.

how free it is
you have no idea how free*.

desert adventures on the **** of a camel
reins posses my sandy hands onward the dunes
gratitude warranted between cultural differences
i am free.

a sunset cruise along the seine
la tour eiffel illuminated my mind in the heart of the city
floating in the depths of enchantment
i am free.

elephant endowing hugs in the jungle outskirts
my neck is affectionately smothered for a brown banana
both part with fulfillment achieved
i am free.

gazing at the quintessential cappella sistina
divine history indefinitely controls my eyes
time ceases to exist in the atmosphere
i am free.

adrift in a crisp lake on the border of austria
bumps multiply across the plateau of my bare body
conscience motionless
thoughts unprovoked
i am free.

gliding above the snow-capped swiss alps
my arms extended to receive an embrace of happiness
only this moment is relative
i am free.

you can’t water dead flowers
be free.
           *sylvia plath
228 · Apr 2017
(( band ))
taylor kathleen Apr 2017
soil hugs his right knee
my cocoon hinged open
her damp eyes respond 
without a sound
i melt around her fourth digit

i do
slowly transitions into 
a manifestation of
i don't 

by the third year
his matching set rests upon 
the oak nightstand with
a crown of dust atop

no longer feeling his
gentle palm caressing 
my slick golden body

by the second child 
i am placed on her vintage floral dish 
watching the depletion of love unfold

the oval **** turns
opening the portal to their suite
she finds her partner 
tangled in their cotton sheets 
four legs
two bodies
one liar
her damp eyes respond
without a sound 

i soar through the stale air
and strike the edge of his guilty brow 

never to be found

do you know how it feels to be lost?
i do
178 · Jan 2018
rare
taylor kathleen Jan 2018
she is unique
the way her curls dance in
the glimmer of sunshine
her soft voice
dripping words sweet as honey
those eyes
presenting a movie of light
and dark
feet which have ran from home
walked through regions
far & wide for miles and miles
her ears have heard the sounds
of misery
of hope
she is one to fear
she is one to appreciate
she is one to love
165 · Feb 2018
nocturne no. 2
taylor kathleen Feb 2018
i'm haunted by something i cannot define
lingering emptiness through expansive time
the poison only bears temporary satisfaction
the sedated *** only to mask unwanted attraction
they ***** my body : they ***** my mind
broken misfortune i always seem to find
play me this song
heal these wounds i carry along
a story of purity and evil
tragedy i would rather conceal
for being is just not enough -
157 · Nov 2017
-- nature & desire --
taylor kathleen Nov 2017
she wanted more
than the greenest trees
the highest peaks
the loneliest creeks
the flowers and the bees
she wanted love
real
worthy
unconditional
love
to encompass her mind
help her rewind
for things to flow
so she could let go
she wanted more
150 · Nov 2017
gratitude
taylor kathleen Nov 2017
respect for the elders
their sage words
helped meld her

into her radiance
speaking the truth
transitioning to adulthood
away from her youth

growing like the oak
so stable and strong
her supportive family
showed her who she was all along

roots to roots

her child bore her traits
thankful for the elders
who replaced love for hate
146 · Jan 2019
an eerie fireplace
taylor kathleen Jan 2019
i can relate to you
an empty vessel
used by those who
seek your inner light
you can warm them
make them happy
shedding layers
piece by piece
cold hearts defrost
satisfaction is instantly gratified
soon they have what they want
and you're left exerting the final spark
until the flames dim
wood burnt
the coals still flicker
ashes and ashes
only you fall down
they leave
you stay
an empty vessel
i can relate to you
145 · Jan 2018
content >
taylor kathleen Jan 2018
the silence is deafening
ringing in my ears
yet
you get comfortable with the lonesome
you want
and you want
and you even want some more

but

in the end
all you have
is you.
145 · Jan 2018
stand up
taylor kathleen Jan 2018
i think less
deserve more
feeling low
yet seem so high
my heart is far
you are close
go away
come back
this place is large
but i remain small
you
me
leave me be.
142 · Apr 2019
cold brew lover
taylor kathleen Apr 2019
one shot
maybe two
kissing softly
my smile grew
a little cream
sugar and stir
those almond eyes
the way they look at her
sweetness
filled with energy
& making my heart race
there's not a care nor a worry
i like this feeling.
141 · Nov 2017
the mind
taylor kathleen Nov 2017
i feel you more than nature
and now i am numb
i hear you more than my teachers
and now i am deaf
i obey you more than my parents
and now i am powerless
i trust you more than my best friend
and now i am guarded
i love you more than my partner
and now i am alone
i protect you more than my child
and now i am broken
i see you more than my own path
and now i am blind
i need you more than i need myself
and now i am lost

where is my mind?
141 · Oct 2018
piece of me
taylor kathleen Oct 2018
indulge in the "sweets"
yet your body becomes sour
the stomach and heart aches
controlling your mind
with intoxicating power
tastes so good
but only lasts a few hours
cravings return & alter the mood
you want more
he takes and takes and takes
this is what you asked for
do not wish for wholeness
when you only take a piece
those sweets are only temporary
and never seem to cease.
139 · Jan 2018
acceptance :
taylor kathleen Jan 2018
for you are you
and i am me
my heart is broken
please set me free.

it is time for growth
self care
from this pain
i must repair.

not sure how to get there
nor which road to take
but with the path that lies ahead
the choice is mine to make.

forgive my intentions
forget the past
all i have is now
all i have is me
sighing for relieve at last.
138 · Feb 2019
waves |
taylor kathleen Feb 2019
the surface is warm + inviting
i enter with utter ease
excitement
the small splashes against my shins
welcoming to an open space
new opportunities
gradually descending to the waist
engulfed by continuous events
one inch more
the chill on my naval
hairs slowly rise
while accomplishments fall
consumed by endless thoughts
collarbones disappear under foam
my eyes glimpse back at the shore
slowly drowning
all because i believed i could swim alone.
138 · Apr 2018
i was busy thinking about
taylor kathleen Apr 2018
boys.
the one who sent me flowers
he never came to see me.
the one i talked to for hours and hours
he was very quick to flee.
the one who played music
he always concealed the truth.
the one who shared toothpicks
he chose the path of youth.
the one who had dreamy eyes
he left me with "i love you".
the one who loves to fly
my love he never knew.
each one takes
and takes
and takes some more.
when do i get one that
respects
honors
deeply loves me from the core?
134 · May 2019
the four letter word
taylor kathleen May 2019
i think that possibly
maybe
i’m falling for you
consistent surprises of joy
my happiness is true
because “we”
sounds better than
“you and me”
sweets,
i love you.
131 · Jan 2018
the way i am
taylor kathleen Jan 2018
intelligent beyond measure
confident through endeavors
quirky with a dark twist
someone for whom a man will wish

within the deep core
he learns more
a broken room of misfortune
closes the doors which were once open

this is her
fully & entirely

take me the way i am.
127 · Jul 2018
small things
taylor kathleen Jul 2018
seeking the whole
receiving a key
wandering through time
she cannot simply be
empty hands : empty heart
the world tilts
ever so slowly
tearing her apart
all these small things
ticking round the endless clock
until the purpose is understood
the door will always be locked.
123 · May 2018
the fern
taylor kathleen May 2018
dew drops wet and gracious
transcending along the spine
into another dimension
grounded and barren
out of the peak
fallen from the altitude
of the heavens
leaves grow without concern
thoughts lessen
nature does not hurry
bearing a simple shape
yet complexity is inherent
i am inherently complex
as are you
dear let us grow together
and fall to the earth
after an eve of
mighty winds
and the essence of
our raw selves
112 · Sep 2019
you are my everything.
taylor kathleen Sep 2019
in a smidge over 120 days
everything is different,
a mind revolving in a love-struck craze
a tangible imprint.
thoughts encompass a double-sided street
where i typically drive one-way,
our bodies meet
and everything drifts away.
a sweet treat, antique mirror, tasty dish
reminding me of you
with each eyelash wish
everything came true.
honey you are my everything
the lyrics to my melody
making my heart sing
a completed harmony.
i love you.
93 · Sep 2020
a place of pain
taylor kathleen Sep 2020
my chest is tired from carrying the weight
my eyes are tired from holding the tears
my gut is tired from possessing the feelings
my mind is tired from analyzing the thoughts

a constant cycle of not being wanted
from the home
from the school
from the military
from the family

i cannot seem to find my place.

the lingering sensation of death lurking
because to be gone would be simple
plain and simple
the nothingness seems more inviting than
the home
the school
the military
the family

the tears streak my cheeks falling upon a broken heart
how can i mend something that does not want me?

— The End —