When I was younger I knew the world held the answers
Now that I'm older I understand life holds it all
To train your mind is to build your wolrd but how old should I be when I do it?
Before I was too young
When would I be too old
They say there's nothing really to it
The most powerful question to ask oneself is
'Where is my mind?'
A consistent thought
A power given
The tool simply being time

I thought it was your job to give me butterflies
Turns out the job is mind
To sincerely appreciate
To gratify and praise

The tool simply being time

To my friend, my strength
To my lover, my weakness
I commit to our butterfly garden
I'll train myself to love
That complex paradox
Yes my love, it is time

While my innocence grows thin
My heart grows strong
And my love, our love grows deep
Now time being the tool
I'll carve your name on my heart,
like you did when we first met
Touching my heart like there was nothing surrounding it
No bone nor muscle nor flesh

Now that puppies have gone
And taken their love
And life hits in ways innocent minds don't mix
To have impure intensions
In pure situations
What a fool
What a shame on me
Thought that was my fall
Thought I was stronger than thee

But atlast when the tool had completed it's task
I learn time is always on time
It was your butterfly
Our butterflies that saved me, us
When it spoke and asked 'where is your mind?'

I love you
It's
Never
Been
So
Hard....
To say
I love you

I've never been so hurt
At such a tender spot
I've never been so messed up

But I love you
I do
**** it

But how many times will we do this?
How many times will you hurt me and I forgive you?
...
How many times have I hurt you and you forgave me?

I do see myself
As much as I see you
Yes I see you and I see through you completely!
I love you!
**** it!

But fear makes me ask for space
But you are always my happy place.
So don't leave me and I won't leave you

Stay and build and fight with me and the same I'll do.
Hear me
beyond my words
Beyond my actions
And I'll do the same to you

Love me
And I'll love you.

Lord

Thanks for everything
In you I trust
And neither hurt not lust is stronger than your love

I've always been and am still loyal
But what does that matter
All that matters is the heart
Does it please you?

And I've realized that I can't please you without you
So stay by my side
I'll forget my pride
My hurts
Even my goals
All for you

Because I know you're more valuable
My guide
My counsel
My father
My friend

The only one who is never wrong
And stays with me till the end.
Be my guide

Lord!
Help!

You've never let me down!
Help!
I know lord
I know what I've done!
I know that I know better!

Help!!!

I let you down
But you never failed me
You never betrayed me

You stayed by my side
And sometimes my pride causes me to stay away from you but what's the use?

You're the only one who can help me so please...

Help me.

We did didn't we?
Had a hell of a journey.
You always had my back
And I yours

We did everything right
Didn't we?
We set things up in spite of our messed up pasts
And we learned to love

Beauty and the beast but beauty had her own beast locked up inside
Birthed by scars
Inside and out

***** as a child and some memories escape me but scars take longer to fade.
Proof of the abuse
The misuse
But if I never let it go
How can it go away

Beauty has her own beast
Her own failures and misjudgments
Her trials
Her hurts!
Hell yeah it hurts!

But beauty is strong
And she will rise again!

All I can do at this point is feel because those are my friends and thoughts are my foes.
But how would I know?

Where has my sanity gone?
Thoughts were always my safe place and thoughts turned to poetry.

My heart is a poet
It speaks in rhymes and riddles
Feels every stroke
Every letter
Blank pages welcome me
Full ones overwhelm me

For who can write on something already written on?
Far worse for a delicate being such as the heart.

Don't you know how delicate the heart is,
The mind is,
Don't you know you're driving me crazy
But all my helpless poet can do is rant and rave on a page that cannot hear me!
...
And still, it's the only one who hears me
They say pray to God but even him I've shamed him

I've shamed him
My parents
My love
And myself

But I can turn to pages and they won't turn away
I can cry
Scream
Hurt pages and forever they'll stay

Forever?
Really?
Sorry to say
But no
Even they would leave

I'm sorry my poet
If only I can protect you again.

I just walked into the room
but I couldn't stop staring,
so I closed my eyes.
I just started back breathing,
but the room was filled with smoke,
so I held my breath.
I knew that if I gazed too long I'd want to touch it
if I went too long without breathing that I'd die.
Maman always said better be safe than sorry,
so I ran for my life hoping never to return.
But then you grabbed my hand and pulled me back in,
I started to cough so you opened up the windows.
My eyes were closed so you whispered in my ear,
"you don't have to look if you don't want to".
I took my hand and placed it on your chest,
you had skin as soft as a baby,
a heart as warm as the sun.
My eyes were still closed but you seemed to be very much like what I had wished for
so slowly but surely I opened my eyes.
A tall slim figure
muscles existed but few,
so many cuts,
but so much potential!
I saw you cry in front of a broken mirror
and though you never said it,
I'm sure that I heard it,
A cry of "please don't leave me".