I want

The holding hands,
that “just because for you”.
The random reassurance,
that we’ll make it through.
The plan dates,
that honesty and truth.
The future of us,
that being a kid.
The growing old together,
that you and me.
The love I keep,
that I’m willing to give.
The courage I seek,
that brave one to fall deep.
The feeling safe to be
that fragile but in one piece;

As long as you’re staying,
I’ll take it all,
the beauty and ugly.

—n.y

Make believe and having hopes.
It can be dangerous to have these,
when you keep wanting to see,
the good in everything.
Without having a grip on reality,
it can k/ill brutally;

The longing.

—n.y

To see things differently.
To comprehend it all,
from different perspectives.
To have empathy and to believe.
To own and learn from each of it;

The reason behind everything.

—n.y

The letters I wrote for my future lover.
They should warn them how it can be disastrous.
For when there’s calm, there can be happiness.
For when there’s a storm, it can be breathless;

The highs and lows are unconscious.

—n.y

Being lost in translation.
In between the silence and perceptions.
Those words that were said but not meant,
and those that are meant but not said;

Tragic love ending.

—n.y

I own the version you think of me.
The misguided one in your story.
There aren’t enough apologies,
able to change the narrative.
For the way you see things;

Put the blame
on my k/illings.

— n.y

For once I wish to be safe.
For once I hope that I could be.
Safe to have feelings,
Safe to be myself and not hiding.
From the fact that I’m hurt.
From the fact that I’m in love, still.
But too much of emotions,
Lead me to destruction down the alley.

Is there somewhere?
I could be in pieces,
In peace.

—n.y