I die every night when I fall asleep
And wake up falling, jolting the life back in me.
It reminds of me when I look into your eyes.
Dying as I gaze into them, then jolting back to life whenever you blink.
These little deaths are starting to wear on the walls I’ve built up
Inside of me.
Until eventually their will be nothing left but foundation crumbling.
Oh, what am I going to do with you, my knight in shinning armor?
You wear it like the tattoos on your skin.
It’s hiding the real you within.
Will you trust me as I try to understand? I will be gentle as I remove it
Bit by bit.
Until theirs nothing left but the real you
The one I fell in love with.

There are a lot of dead things in my apartment.

The orchid from this past June,

the fresh, crisp air from this afternoon,

and my memory of you.

For months
I

Buried
You in the cell walls
Of my skin

Until I
Could feel you in
My blood, pulsating

Hollow cold breaths
We breathed
Together

I remember that fine
California morning
Holding you

To me
In me
Apart of
Me

Stretched so thin
You were
Inside of me

I could no longer take
The pain of you

Trying to break
Free
Until I

Finally had the
Courage to
Set you free

I just hope that
You
Come back to me

I think about you often
Much more than I should 
Years ago feel like yesterday
And time is slow to heal these wounds.

We spend our whole lives
Searching
For that one person
Who brushes
Their teeth
At the same speed
As we do.

I was everything he wanted
But nothing that he needed.

He was nothing that I wanted
But everything that I needed.

A month.

That's all it took.


To turn these once
delicate hands into
calloused, mangled,
limbs.

Overworked and exhausted.

But when you flew in to stay the night
these calloused, mangled, limbs couldn't help
but

want nothing more than to touch your
smooth,

scarred,

velvety

soft,

skin.

Like toffee, it is.
The color of mocha or lightly tanned leather.

They knew,
oh they knew...

That from every touch they took

They would slowly regain their delicateness again

That delicateness they so miss...

They say that
Before you can love another
You must first love yourself
But how can you teach a selfless person
To be selfish?

Wise in mind
And young at heart
Such dueling forces
Plague me to start
The tug and pull
They each collide
It's the balance I'm having
A hard time to find.

I will always be
Second fiddle
In the symphony
of your
Song.