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 Feb 2014 Mark Butkus
Satsuki
In the summer I fell in love
With a little city I found
My heart flutters every time I think of
That city full of sound
And maybe it was the voodoo
That made me so very keen
To keep coming back to that bayou
Down in New Orleans
My favorite city.
I traded the Midwest for West Coast sunsets.
I left my home.
Some people said they were so sorry that I had to uproot.
I was not.
My home was my prison.
My Hell.
My cellmate was a cold-hearted beast with claws for hands.
Who used fists to persuade me that I was not good enough.
I hung my head low.
I had glass for teeth and empty space for eyes.
The other children clawed at my differences.
Tried to tear my originality
They beat me to only clay and a brain so they could mold me into who they wanted me to be.
I let them.
I thought a life lived alone was no life at all.
Alone is who I am.
 Sep 2013 Mark Butkus
chels
My language is a dance. When I am excited, the tempo speeds up into a tango; characterized by marked rhythms and postures and abrupt pauses. I am small, but my voice is loud. I will not slump my shoulders, but I will take three steps forward, and no steps back. I will be in your face and I will pronounce my words with my history and I will say "soda" instead of "pop". I will make you hear me.
I speak to myself quietly and talk about pink satin sheets when I'm just trying to talk about the way I feel when I see him walking with her. My feelings are not words, they are colors. I will throw rocks through my own windows just by talking about myself. My language is sliding my test paper a little further past my arm when I can tell that you need help. I will help. My language consists of eye contact and tiptoeing around the question. I spend a lot of my time cursing the name of God in front of Catholics, but I do not mean to. My language is how I was raised, following angry parents through hallways and repeating words that should not have been repeated. I stumble and trip over my words like tree roots when I read out loud to the class. My language is not unique because I trace my words over everything that has ever been said around me. When I'm sad, my language is a slow dance in a burning room because I'm repeating everything bad I've ever said about myself, I'm repeating everything bad I've ever said about myself. My language is my environment; it is not unique, it is just there. My catch phrases are built on bruises caused by being shoved into lockers, but this is not sixth grade anymore. People are not "*******"; they are human, and I am sorry. Language is built upon every bad thing that has ever happened, and every reaction to it.
 Sep 2013 Mark Butkus
Showman
He opens his Star Wars: A New Hope lunch box
Inside a hippies dream.
**** in baggies that have the superman symbol
And Batman symbol on them
Tabs of LSD
And molly.
Hunter S. Thompson would have a field day

©Gambit '13
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