I am breathing, really breathing.

I have been forever caressed by winter, it has always been my time. It is when my blood becomes the deepest shade of crimson, and it is when my soul intensifies. I am a summer child, but I rejoice in the cold winds. I feel whole as I listen to the sounds of the waters. My heart always yearns for days like today, where I stand above the staircase and watch as sand becomes mud & emotions, concrete.

Lonesomeness is in the beautiful sounds of birds in flight,

Lonesomeness is in the way the blue of your favourite sweater ages by welcoming a solemn grey presence,

Lonesomeness is in the monstrous whiff of a corpse,

it is the most powerful when woven into memories of a loved one, forever gone.

I want life to be unchanging,
I want to accurately refer to it as my amaranthine companion.
I am aware that i'd be coronating a royal of dullness, but I would also have annihilated the wretched ghoul of tragedy.

This would of course empty the afterlife,
All graves would be vacant.
Earth will be heavily burdened. I am now afraid of the great purge.
I do not know what to wish for.

I am one to prosper in darkness, yet I also thirst to bask in light. My heart loves both.
I cannot be the one to change what is already fixed, I do not wish to alter what has already been written centuries past.
*I only ramble in an abyss of what if I could?