One**
I am (sometimes) lost.
Two
I am sometimes kept awake at night because of all the things that I could have done but avoided doing. And in the dark, I open my eyes, but I cannot if keeping my eyes shut or wide open would better give me the desired peace.
Three
I dislike telling people how I feel because they take it as a sign to give me comfort when they don’t really mean it. I dislike telling people my problems because they would treat me like I am complaining. I dislike telling people how I think because I always feel like they aren’t even interested to begin with.
Four
Inadequacy, fear, sin, mistakes, inadequacy, pride, common sense
are words that always cling on to me and makes me feel like a lesser being that I actually am. Or maybe I wasn’t that big to begin with. I couldn’t decide. Inadequacy.
Five
I have moments where I hesitate to say something and spend a longer time, arguing and rebutting against those thoughts because I want to make sure I say the right things, than actually saying them. Then I realise that sometimes thoughts are not exactly safe in my head, nor is it safe out in the world.
Six
I wish life was simpler and didn’t include the one, two, three, four and five above.
I was just writing about my problems when the words just weaved itself into this poem. http://cranberange.tumblr.com