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Lucy Aug 2022
Time became story
And I fell victim
To the idea of freedom
And what that looks like.
Making up my own game
Then forgetting how to play
Writing my own lyrics
To a song
Never sung.
I forgot
The beat
To the drum
Then dances with it
All wild and crazy
On the beaches
Of a new moon
Lost and frigid
Yet warmed by the sands of yesterdays sun.

Is this what dreams are made of?
Hippy stardust
Among dusty faces
Of such sweet young travelers.
Forrest bathing
Naked
Unafraid
And societally dumb.
The way we were living is not
What we were made for.
So now what?
We turned to the ancient idea of what god is
And they call it “New age”
Spirituality
Unorganized
The way it all started
Before Babylon
And the beginning of corruption.

Time
Running in circles
In the decade of the young
I came to you empty handed
And you took everything from me!
And all I had was the stars in my eyes.

Forced
To live amongst the wicked
And become one of them even
All for cigarettes
And an ounce of food.
Saying
How did we get here?
And where do I go to next?

Replaying
My dads old lyrics
Over and over again
While hitching on the highway 1
One line ringing louder in particular;
“When your here your here”
And nothing to this day has ever been truer to me.

“Be here now” said Ram Das
So your a “traveler” yet you will never be two places at once.
look up to the great heavens of the sky
And the trees - there your home now.
But when you’re here you’re here.
And you will never ever be “there “ again.

Believing
Everything a mystic said to me
Forgetting what day it is
And saying good night to
O’Ryan
“Now this is really living “
I thought.
And it was
10 years later and I’m still humming to the same **** tune.

So this is what dreams are made of
And where stories are born.
You almost lost me to the open sky
And hum of the crooked highway
I almost fell down while running off the trails of the race
But realized no one would be there to catch me if I did. So I stood up and learned to walk again.

(Am I doing this right.)
Am I doing this right? Am I doing this wrong?
Now  that the masses have turned away from me?
But I found my people, once again, hidden behind the trees and past the rivers.
Comforting me
But with slightly different eyes than before..

(On an island)
On an island surrounded by water
I re-live the currents of TIME.
Oh sweet ocean, teach me how to love again!
I will repay you by pouring into you all of my hopes, dreams and comforts.
You can marry me with your water droplets
And I’ll bless each one with every year that passes by

We are mothers and sons
And daughters
And meadows
I am the stream that runs through the vains of our ancestors
I am  the polluted soil
Still giving life to the sprouting seed.
Lucy Dec 2016
Tell me.
What to you do when your in Love?
So in Love.
Like your eyes finally matched up with that other person you expected to be with-
that person you thought you would always meet?
He's a gentleman,
and I could not agree more with the way that he smiles.
He's perfection. He is life-
my new reason for eating and breathing.
I'm in Love!
So in Love.
I dream in Love and wake in Love.
He's with me in the mountains
and in the starts.
And when I gaze up
there you are!
In my minds eye
he's just there
staring
right down
back at me.
He's the trees
and in the snow
all my hopes
he's all I know.

Though my Lover doesn't Love me.
Oh my Love
I'll let him go.
Lucy Nov 2016
He said
Cold is just a feeling
Though I swore it wasn't so
So I closed my heart to moments
"Let it grow"

Then he said,
"Don't do it my way
or I'll put your mind in chains"
Then He looked at me all sideways
"Let it rain"

So I doomed his soul to Hatred
Then I mouthed "I Love you so"
Started planning kids and children
Came too soon

Now I lay in this old hallway
Placed the corner to my head
Chanting "Ill just keep on breathing
Till I'm dead"

Till I'm dead.
Lucy Nov 2016
Loneliness strikes me
hard
in beauty
atop a
Montana Mountain.
The sun gold mirror cast
from our sun now deflected
saddens me
even in all its
core massaging comfort.
It reminds me that I am me-
and these spiraling clouds
they remind me that
there is even calm in motion.
I have no reason to not feel big-
I have no reason to not feel small
or present
I am here!
I am beautiful
and I am
alone.
Alone as the mountains,
the bush-rock
and sky.
And as these clouds keep dispersing from ground to high
I pass through it
it solidarity.

The city runs and sleeps
below me
and I sit here in motion.
Right now this loneliness
in fact feels like happiness.
I believe this with all my heart
though I wish it wasn't true.
Lucy Sep 2016
You kept my eyes ******
And nose clean.
Knees deep in between rebellion
And the next best thing...

Telling you I love you
Just like I always had.
Playing life with jealousy
And singing of my Dad.

I **** the silence with music.
As you sink into my empty apartment.
My soul may as well go now
**** it slowly  
Then resurrect it.
Lucy Aug 2015
Glassy eyes still look glassy
I see them through window tint
Pain and all
He took my hands again
Behind doorstep, this time
He told me I would be safe here
In his arms
These scale-fish shingles and
Curtain shields
And I believed him
Yes I did
As I play behind the picket fence...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Loving the weeds for being free
Thinking they look a little like me
Steeping them in my morning tea
Dreaming of Life, the greater things
Then kissing him on his wounded cheek
Grabbing his hands, down on my knees


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And leading him
One day
Outside our Loving gate
Over street-walks, and light corners
And past the cage lures  
Showing him a life
Without sidewalks and doors    
 - - - - - - - - - - - - - -         
     - - - -  - - -  A
- - - - - - spiral - -
in the - - -   .
- - -    picket - - - -
     - - -  fence - - -  - - - -
   - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He swore
That if
I lived his life
Then he would let me show him mine.  

And I believe him now
I believe him this time
Lucy May 2015
I remember sittin' in the bathroom
feelin so high
pretendin' like the ceiling was the sky

but then I fell down

[oh so real]

played the part
made a deal
and that day the clouds met my heels

[been so fly]

I kept pretendin' that the high cured my pain

[fall some day]

rose back up
waited for tomorrows setting moon

[came too soon]

sittin' here
in this room
drinkin' beer
on the ***
loosing tears
I keeped forgettin' hennessy
was my name

[fall some day]

played the game
lied and sang
chill and hang
we'll never talk about it anyway
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