Freedom isn't always
cutting ties
isolation
Freedom is
acceptance
loving without limits
giving all of yourself
taking your heart out knowing half the time it will be spit on and crushed
bashed into the art of your proudest moments
Freedom means you know what's best for yourself
it is the unconvention of spending two hours on love letters
and two minutes on schoolwork
You are not wrong in following your heart
there is no shame in loving the ocean as well as the forest
never feel like you are confined to the mountains
because you are worried of the pines reaching jealousy
I only ask
tread lightly on my needles
visit occasionally
keep loving the forest

I want to be someone else
For a day, or more, or less
Just forget all my troubles
Take on another life
One filled with passion
happy memories and hours.
Not have to worry about
Pain,  deception, distress.
wake up to adventure
be someone new.
And just gobble life whole.

Frustrated.
With myself, or you?
You’re content without me
And that’s not fair
Because I’m not content without you.
One way channels of affection should not exist
The world is out of balance
How can you be right for me, and me not right for you?
When will my own chemical orientations be reciprocated?
I couldn’t be more sure of you.
Sure that you fill a void in me no one else can touch.
But when I speak to you, confide in you--
When I anticipate a mutually appreciated interaction,
And you don’t speak—don’t show—don’t need—
Well, I find myself here.
Rolling on in these ruts, unwanted, with love unrequited.
Frustrated, but not with you.
Because not caring is no crime,
And life is yours to live.
So live on, love, and I will rust.

For me,

flying is a bit like faith,

a willful suspension of disbelief.

I’m not afraid, but as I arch over the continent,

thirty thousand feet up, traveling at five hundred miles per hour,

encased in two hundred tons of metal,  I know that what I’m doing is impossible

Call a                          doctor/ plumber/ priest
My heart is               broken/ leaking/ deceased
My life is                   worthless/ so much better/ over
I'm going to              **** myself/ tell your wife/ Dover
How could you         leave me/ not know/ lie?
I hope you                return my stuff/ come back/ die
I'll never                   forget you/ forgive you/ go away
I need                        closure/ a DNA test/ to tell you I'm gay
Your                           face/ crotch/ top of your back
Is                                so beautiful/ lumpy/ unusually slack
Your                           ex/ mother/ best friend from school
Always made me      great coffee/ feel inadequate/ drool
I will                           miss you/ **** you/ stalk you forever
That way we can      be friends/ get away with it/ be together
I'm sorry                   you did this/ I did this /we failed
I promise to               pay you/ dye it back/ get you bailed
Please don't               leave me/ show the Polaroids/ write or call

(*delete as appropriate, just delete it all.....)

I could lose myself
in you.
I could bury myself and
never look back.
But your love is
quicksand.

You're an
illusion. A card trick.
Houdini's Upside Down.
Will I ever
escape you?
Or are you
the lock that sticks?

This fortune came to me today
And it really touched my heart,
For its message is plain as day –
Our friendship needs a jumpstart.

I haven’t been a friend to you;
I beg you your forgiveness.
Without you, I’m all shades of blue –
It’s you, crazy girl, I miss.

(February 2012)