Spinning around my room at 2 AM
Empty wine bottle in hand
Huge smile on my face
Cool breeze passing through the drapes
This is what it's like to be alive
This is what it's like to feel brand new

Maybe - finally - I'm releasing the voice I've kept inside.

It's impossible not to cringe
when I hear your nails on a chalkboard voice

I've found I hate the word manipulative
It's synonymous with your name
So the hate is just the same

"I was just a kid, I didn't know what to do... so I did nothing."

*"That's not true... you survived."

can't you see that perfect picture?
you and me?
you don't.
so here I sit,
waiting
on
you.

Love is turning the lights on then off again.
Love is polishing the knives and forks and spoons.
Love is wishing you were there, not here.
Love is pushing doors open and gently closing them.
Love is friendship set to music.
Love is youthful springtime.
Love is ripped stockings and black lace.
Love is blue highlighter on your cheek.
Love is old comic books collecting dust.
Love is silent exhales.
Love is, love is, love is...

Then
The two of us
Thick as thieves

Now
The two of us
Thin as martyrs

I hate that my name is associated with yours;
They think of you, they think of me.

Your smell lingers on my skin, your taste on my tongue
Your image is burned into my mind
Let me not hold your body close
When I am not worthy to even hold your hand

You had to take my safe place,
the one place your hands hadn't touched

What lies behind a question mark?
Nothing.
Wrong. There lies a chance to completely **** up.

Hidden away from the wind and rain
Block them out, we're alone again

I understand it now, the difference between lust and love.

Cut me again
I triple dog dare you
Dig the blade in a little deeper
Push against my veins a little harder
Don't stop until my body is drained
And I don't feel anymore pain

We used to spend lazy days in bed, listening to the birds wake restless sleepers. The sun would cast shadows over us and in moments like those, I thought I couldn't love you more...
The glory of morning is for fools entangled.

Your love for me runs true -
Freely, purely, without constraint.
Who am I to stop you?
How am I to want anyone more?

Tomorrow is a new day;
the sun will rise again
to kiss the tops of trees
and warm the hearts of man.

No longer will you diminish my light
I'm soaring through the galaxies
The stars are at my fingertips
I'm finding my soul again
*I am triumphant

I've set fire to what you left behind -
The embers singe the vanilla perfume inside my lungs
   and new life bursts through the flames.

Never again will I allow someone like you to deceive me, to take advantage of the love I reluctantly give

This is a terrible idea.
I know.
We shouldn't.
Probably not.
You'll regret this.
*Never.

I've let hundreds of moments pass where I could've told you. The words are pushing against the back of my teeth, but I just can't seem to let them out. When I do tell you, I hope you'll understand how hard it is for me to say the words out loud. Wrap your arms around my shaking frame and just hold me. Because a declaration like that will drain the light I keep so carefully lit. You'll look at me differently. I won't be the same girl you fell for during a chemistry lesson. My hands will seem colder, my spine will seem stiffer. Will you still love me when you know that I'm damaged?

My fingertips taste like the skin across your shaking shoulders

And you, so blinded by your lust, forget to love.

And when these words are no longer enough, hold on.

You've made a home in the space between my ribs

Are you absolutely sure you could love someone like me?

You're only a disappointment if you allow yourself to be

Sleeping next to you
was an
unattainable dream
come true...

Please don't hide your heart like you hide your arms.

I am slowly (but surely)
   stumbling
      crashing
         falling
            for you...

Who do I cry for anymore?
Myself or lack thereof?

I find
solace
in your lips,
peace
in your heart.

Broke my heart in July
Broke my body in August